Wishcasting Wednesday...on Thursday!

So, yesterday was Wednesday...and I didn't post anything.  Know why?  Little Bear is going through a MAJOR "I am almost 18 months old and I am learning how to talk" milestone right now, and he barely napped....and when he WAS napping he needed my boob.  *Sigh*  I try to remember that one day nursing will be a fond memory...but when I'm stuck in the bedroom and can't get out and don't have my glasses on...it becomes challenging.

ANYWAY.    There was a point to this...and the point is that it feeds into my answer to yesterday's Wishcasting Wednesday question: "What story do you wish to live or let go of?"

I wish to live a story of infinite possibility.

I often feel like I'm stuck in recurring patterns of reaction.  You know how it is, "I had a bad night, therefore I'm cranky and will have a bad day" or "Little Bear isn't sleeping today therefore I will barely keep it together and will freak out at Papa Bear tonight."  It all feels very heavy and out of control and BAD.  But the thing I've realized this week is that IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.  No one says that just because I had a crappy night's sleep I HAVE to be cranky.  No one says that not having a break means I HAVE to lose it (losing it NEVER makes me feel better...I have come to the firm belief that that whole "anger catharsis" thing is crap).  All it takes is a shift in perception, some mindful breathing, some positive rephrasing, and (sometimes) a well-timed mug of tea or piece of dark chocolate and the possibilities open right up!  It happened the other day when I wrote about my gratitude practice, it happened last night when Little Bear woke up at 3am and started practicing his words, and Dear LORD did it ever happen yesterday when he wouldn't nap!  I took some deep breaths, I reminded myself that, while I can't control what happens I have the Inner Freedom to control how I handle it, and I handled it better than I could have imagined (OK, OK, I still snapped at Papa Bear when he came home last night.  I'm only human, and this is all new to me!). 

So, this is my (belated) wish: to live a story where I don't mentally skip straight to the worst possible ending and then manifest it.  I wish to live a story where I am able to enjoy (or at least appreciate) every single moment for what it is, to find the silver lining, and to creatively handle any obstacle.  Just writing that makes me feel more free. 

As an added thought, I've been reading about the way Buddhists handle anger and thinking about (and feeling) the difference between repressing anger and admitting, feeling, and releasing anger.  It really is tangible -the hard, tight, out of control feeling of repressing (and ultimately exploding), vs the soft, accepting feeling of breathing deeply, thinking "I'm angry...it's OK to be angry...", allowing myself to feel anger and then mindfully choosing to re-centre myself.  When I pick Option #2 I inevitably end up feeling better faster.  Interesting stuff.