*sigh*
Last night I was seized by a sudden inspiration and I wrote a children's story (apparently the medium in which I write best and most efficiently is turquoise marker...who knew!). I already know some changes I want to make in it, but I like the basic structure and I am particularly enamoured of my main character. Sadly, I find that I can't use the name I wanted if I ever want to try to get this published. Know why? Because the main character's name was (is at the moment) Little Bear, and someone already used that. If I had an older kid who watched Treehouse I would have known that earlier, but at 5 months old my Little Bear doesn't watch any TV besides my Chef at Home and Battlestar Galactica, and certainly not kids' TV. But I had this funny feeling, so I Googled it, and voila!
Anywho, there it is, time to find a new name. Ah well.
In other news, I have been giving a lot of thought to my Future and What I Want to Do. Motherhood has given me a whole new outlook on this one -mostly because I've realized that I don't, in fact, want to dance, teach dance, or do anything dance-related except possibly write about dance for a living. This is a Big Deal for someone who used to think "If I'm not a member of ABT by the time I'm 19 I might as well kill myself" and subsequently tortured herself relentlessly for giving up her dance training.
It's an interesting feeling being able to finally let that go. It's like I'm standing at this huge crossroads with a dozen possible routes in front of me, and suddenly I know that I don't want to take route A, B, or C. I still don't know which route I will take, but I know for sure that it won't be any of those. This is interesting, because this time last year I was teaching my second term of DansKinetics with my own website, brochures, business plan, etc. This is annoying, because people are expecting me to teach those classes again -I keep getting calls from new clients who see my brochures (of course, now that I'm not doing it). But I can't help it...I don't wanna. I thought I was "following my bliss" when I tried that, but I think maybe I had it wrong. I'm so glad I gave it a solid try though (and I reserve the right to change my mind, although I don't think I will).
Another route that I know I won't be taking is the Masters degree in French route. I didn't think I wanted to, but it wasn't until my former honours advisor mentioned it as a possibility that I knew for sure (and not just because doing that with a 5.5 month old attached son would be pretty frigging hard). I was great at school -I mean fantastic- but I'm so not interested. This is yet another Big Deal.
Sorry this is such a rambly, unentertaining post. I've just had this on my mind for a while now. I feel guilty for thinking about it as much as I have -I guess I feel like I should be totally and wholly focused on being Little Bear's mom and should blog about that. But no, that wasn't the point of starting this blog...this blog is the "keep Mama Bear sane by reminding her she's still a person" blog, isn't it?
OK, not feeling so guilty anymore.
Next time on The Adventures of Mama Bear: Remember how I promised to post photos of our newly-organized living room and then didn't? All that is about to change!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Hmm...
Haikus:
Sitting in the dark
Sleeping Bear lies by my side
Others party on.
Trying not to be
Depressed because I chose to
Stay in here with him.
There's a Battlestar Galactica fete going on in my living room, but since LB isn't much of one for sleeping away from Mommy, and since staying up to watch BSG at 11 would make me totally useless tomorrow, here I am in bed in the dark. Trying very hard to be a grown up since I DID choose to be here, but it's tough. Ah well.
That's all. More creative fun next time, I promise.
Nighty night!
Sitting in the dark
Sleeping Bear lies by my side
Others party on.
Trying not to be
Depressed because I chose to
Stay in here with him.
There's a Battlestar Galactica fete going on in my living room, but since LB isn't much of one for sleeping away from Mommy, and since staying up to watch BSG at 11 would make me totally useless tomorrow, here I am in bed in the dark. Trying very hard to be a grown up since I DID choose to be here, but it's tough. Ah well.
That's all. More creative fun next time, I promise.
Nighty night!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Creative Writing at its finest...
At no point are my creative juices so stirred as at the moment when I am replying to Kindly Parenting Emails from my various and sundry Kindly Mother Figures.
No, seriously.
Think about it...each response must conjure up all of the following: gratitude for the concern/advice/questions, a sense that I have done my research and know what I'm talking about, and the feeling that I'm confident of my choices and happy in my current role as Mommy-first.
And at the same time this same response needs to avoid the following: making the reader feel like I'm telling them to mind their own business, making them think that I'm a) miserable b) insane c) requiring excessive amounts of pity for any other reason, inspiring them to offer parenting advice (unless I, you know, want it).
It's a delicate process requiring finesse, subtlety, and I-can't-think-of-another-synonym-for-taking-great-pains. When I write these emails my senses are finely tuned to nuance, innuendo (no, not that kind), an any possible misinterpretation/argument so I can circumvent it preemptively. See? After an hour of writing these emails my powers are so highly attuned that I'm using words like "circumvent" and "preemptive"!
Papa Bear thinks I take too much time making sure no one thinks I'm making a mistake. He thinks I should just live my life and who cares what other people think. I don't roll like that. I wish I did, because it would save me a lot of painstaking email-writing. But then again, how else am I going to hone my skills?
No, seriously.
Think about it...each response must conjure up all of the following: gratitude for the concern/advice/questions, a sense that I have done my research and know what I'm talking about, and the feeling that I'm confident of my choices and happy in my current role as Mommy-first.
And at the same time this same response needs to avoid the following: making the reader feel like I'm telling them to mind their own business, making them think that I'm a) miserable b) insane c) requiring excessive amounts of pity for any other reason, inspiring them to offer parenting advice (unless I, you know, want it).
It's a delicate process requiring finesse, subtlety, and I-can't-think-of-another-synonym-for-taking-great-pains. When I write these emails my senses are finely tuned to nuance, innuendo (no, not that kind), an any possible misinterpretation/argument so I can circumvent it preemptively. See? After an hour of writing these emails my powers are so highly attuned that I'm using words like "circumvent" and "preemptive"!
Papa Bear thinks I take too much time making sure no one thinks I'm making a mistake. He thinks I should just live my life and who cares what other people think. I don't roll like that. I wish I did, because it would save me a lot of painstaking email-writing. But then again, how else am I going to hone my skills?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
To Whom It May Concern...
Dear universe,
I would like to earn a living while staying at home with my baby.
My talents include:
writing coherently
researching obsessively
understanding movement
colouring inside the lines
dreaming outside the lines
Any assistance you could give me in this matter would be very much appreciated. I'll keep on the lookout for a sign.
Thank you in advance,
Meg (Mama Bear)
PS: Thank you for Papa Bear, Little Bear, the kitties, my friends and family, a nice place to live, good food to eat, good health, and the ability to lead an inspired life (I know it's always there, even if I often forget about it).
I would like to earn a living while staying at home with my baby.
My talents include:
writing coherently
researching obsessively
understanding movement
colouring inside the lines
dreaming outside the lines
Any assistance you could give me in this matter would be very much appreciated. I'll keep on the lookout for a sign.
Thank you in advance,
Meg (Mama Bear)
PS: Thank you for Papa Bear, Little Bear, the kitties, my friends and family, a nice place to live, good food to eat, good health, and the ability to lead an inspired life (I know it's always there, even if I often forget about it).
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration Day Salad
Some days I get inspired in the kitchen. Today was one of those days, possibly due to our family trip to the gourmet supermarket this morning. Here's the salad I made for supper (to go with stuffed pork chops):
Mixed spinach and romaine hearts
Sweet onion, chopped
Button mushrooms, sliced
Dried cherries
Grated Irish cheddar cheese (regular cheddar would work, but Irish cheddar is sweeter and has a nutty flavour that is amazing with dried cherries)
Pecans
Top with:
Olive oil
Salt & Pepper
Red wine vinegar (just a little bit)
It was SO GOOD, and a great meal to kick off what will hopefully be a wonderful 4 years!
Mixed spinach and romaine hearts
Sweet onion, chopped
Button mushrooms, sliced
Dried cherries
Grated Irish cheddar cheese (regular cheddar would work, but Irish cheddar is sweeter and has a nutty flavour that is amazing with dried cherries)
Pecans
Top with:
Olive oil
Salt & Pepper
Red wine vinegar (just a little bit)
It was SO GOOD, and a great meal to kick off what will hopefully be a wonderful 4 years!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thank you, universe
*does a happy dance*
Just heard from the wonderful Amy-Beckoning-of-Lovely! She says:
Hello Meg,
Thank you for your desire to be part of the "Beckoning of Lovely". . . so glad that you want to join this expanding project of all things lovely.( . . .) I would like to officially offer you the top position in what will be called our "Department of Immense" as the Secretary of Immense.
*does another happy dance*
She doesn't know what my department will be doing, and that terrifies me, but it's good for me to leap into the unknown now and then. So I did. I couldn't not do it.
The other day I wrote a submission to The Beckoning of Lovely, which I was going to submit tomorrow (the deadline) if I didn't hear back about my application. I don't feel right submitting and being on the team, so I will post it here. Enjoy!
Someday
we'll look back
on this brief
Eternity
and wonder
how we missed
the Magic
right in front of us.
*****
TO DO LIST:
Dream vibrantly
Dance wildly
Sing loudly
Eat indulgently
Nap luxuriously
Laugh uproariously
Write courageously
Speak confidently
Love intensely
Live joyfully.
Just heard from the wonderful Amy-Beckoning-of-Lovely! She says:
Hello Meg,
Thank you for your desire to be part of the "Beckoning of Lovely". . . so glad that you want to join this expanding project of all things lovely.( . . .) I would like to officially offer you the top position in what will be called our "Department of Immense" as the Secretary of Immense.
*does another happy dance*
She doesn't know what my department will be doing, and that terrifies me, but it's good for me to leap into the unknown now and then. So I did. I couldn't not do it.
The other day I wrote a submission to The Beckoning of Lovely, which I was going to submit tomorrow (the deadline) if I didn't hear back about my application. I don't feel right submitting and being on the team, so I will post it here. Enjoy!
Someday
we'll look back
on this brief
Eternity
and wonder
how we missed
the Magic
right in front of us.
*****
TO DO LIST:
Dream vibrantly
Dance wildly
Sing loudly
Eat indulgently
Nap luxuriously
Laugh uproariously
Write courageously
Speak confidently
Love intensely
Live joyfully.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A quick post...
...because it's past my bedtime, as sad as that is.
Here is the latest addition to my collection of poems about Isadora Duncan. Please be nice to me, as it's a work in progress, and I haven't shared my poetry with anyone in years.
On Marriage
I'll have none of your
Modern-day prudery.
No man will ever
Bind me to him
With a golden ring;
Odious slavery.
I'll be no man's chattel.
It's funny that I wrote this, seeing as I'm married and always wanted to be. Isadora? Not so much. She actually wrote that the idea of getting married "for the sake of your children" was ridiculous because if a woman didn't trust a man to provide for her and their kids without being legally bound to do so, maybe she would be better off without him.
OK, now it really IS past my bedtime!
Goodnight!
Here is the latest addition to my collection of poems about Isadora Duncan. Please be nice to me, as it's a work in progress, and I haven't shared my poetry with anyone in years.
On Marriage
I'll have none of your
Modern-day prudery.
No man will ever
Bind me to him
With a golden ring;
Odious slavery.
I'll be no man's chattel.
It's funny that I wrote this, seeing as I'm married and always wanted to be. Isadora? Not so much. She actually wrote that the idea of getting married "for the sake of your children" was ridiculous because if a woman didn't trust a man to provide for her and their kids without being legally bound to do so, maybe she would be better off without him.
OK, now it really IS past my bedtime!
Goodnight!
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