Catching up...

I've fallen a little behind with my regularly scheduled blog posts, and here is one big SCHLUMP of an update!

I haven't felt like writing before.  I had some kind of block and I just didn't feel like I was ready to share anything that was going on.  I see now that the cold I just got is part of the process of moving that block, because now I'm feeling A-OK about sharing again!

To start with, here are my various and sundry assignments from last week:

Creative Adventure Sunday:

Last week our assignment was to work with an affirmation meditation designed to help us see our dreams come true.  Now, I'll admit something: I'm not very good at working with other people's meditations...I think because I generally can't get them to say EXACTLY what I feel like I need.  I'm an English major at heart and my critical voice, my "that's not quite the way I would say it" can get pretty distracting.  Not that the meditation wasn't good...it was!  I just had trouble getting into it.  I wanted to write it myself (and for some reason the thought that I COULD do one myself...didn't...occur...to...me..until...now...oops!)  Also, I can't really meditate except at bedtime...and that's just as difficult as you can imagine.

I loved the idea of this, but it didn't work for me.  I couldn't picture a specific dream come true...I just sort of sat with the idea of "a dream come true" as opposed to something specific...if that makes sense.  Clearly there was some sort of resistance there for me.  Ah well.  Like I said, good in theory.  Something to think about.

Joy Rebel Mission Monday:
Last week's Joy Rebel Mission was to make spirituality fun.  In Brandi's own words, "to embrace the rebellion and fun and joy and love of your particular spiritual path IN YOUR WAY."  What a great mission!

One of Brandi's suggestions for Spiritually Rebelling was to research a spiritual path that interested me.  This one really spoke to me, probably because I was reading Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg at the time.  I just finished it today, actually, just in time to return it to the library.  However, it was so perfect for me that I've ordered my own copy.

The best part of the book was that it helped me understand more about Buddhism and key concepts like attachment (I know I'm not the only one who thought that letting go of attachment meant not letting yourself love anything or anyone...yup...got that one wrong).  It took all of the stuff that I just didn't "get" and put it into a context I TOTALLY "get"...even karma and reincarnation! 

I can't wait to get my own copy and start a)highlighting and b)trying the meditations.  I would LOVE to incorporate metta meditations into my daily life.  It fits in perfectly with my "choose joy" philosophy and my efforts at mindfulness and appreciation.  I think I will be adding parts of these practices to my "spiritual buffet."  So, thanks Brandi!  You've got me thinking about my spirituality, which is good.  I feel like it's shifting around this month...expanding in new ways and feeling more life-encompassing...just as it should.

Wishcasting Wednesday: Where do you wish to make a difference?

I love how my various missions often seem to fit together!
When I think about where I would like to make a difference my immediate thought is "somewhere cozy."  Does that make sense?  I don't think of myself as ever making a difference in a "save the whales" "end world hunger" kind of way (although those are both wonderful goals, and I'll be sure to donate some money to charities doing that work).  I want to bring joy to people's lives, to help them gain insight and understanding and inspiration.  But I want to see the results -I want to know the people I'm helping.

One of the most fulfilling things I've ever done was teach a class called Kripalu DansKinetics.  My favourite thing in the world was to take a group of people who had never tried the class before, sit them all in a circle, and say to them, "You cannot do this wrong.  There is no such thing as a mistake or a "bad dancer"...whatever you do in this space is perfect, even if you just feel like sitting in a corner for the entire class.  And if you don't want to do anything I tell you to do you don't have to." I loved watching their faces light up as they learned that they couldn't get it wrong.  And then I loved watching their faces glow with joy as they let go and DANCED.  And week by week I loved getting to know their dancer-selves.  So wonderful.

Anyway, once I got really super-pregnant I stopped teaching, and until recently I felt like my journey with dance was done.  Now I'm not so sure.  I'm not ready to hang out my shingle and start teaching yet, but I'm moving through the blockages I'd built up when it came to dance...for a while there I couldn't move at all, and now I'm starting to.  I don't want to send out a specific wish about dance classes, but I do wish to make a difference in the same sort of way: bringing joy and radiance to the community around me.  That would be tremendous.

For now, I send this wish out into the universe, trusting that answers will come in their own time and their own way.

 I have a feeling you'll be hearing more from me shortly!
Hope you're having a fantabulous weekend!

Creative Adventure Sunday: Celebrate!

This week's Creative Adventure Sunday assignment was to celebrate ourselves and the dreams that we dare to dream (because they really do come true...get it?  Wizard of...oh nevermind). 

I have to admit that I put this one off so far that I technically didn't do it in the week it was assigned!  I did it today.  I went to the mall...and I bought nothing but bath stuff and chocolate!  It felt so decadent!

I went to Lush and got a couple of bath bombs and a sugar scrub, and Papa Bear and I have made a pact that he'll give me a chance to have a nice, soaky bath every weekend (incidentally, this fulfills one of the things on my "to-do" list).  I will also not save the bath bombs for "a special occasion"...nope!  I'm going to use them ASAP...they smell AMAZING!  I also got some satsuma body butter from the Body Shop, so I shall smell DELICIOUS.  And I have cocoa butter lip balm for my poor, chapped lips.  AND I got two champagne truffles and two French mints from Laura Secord and ate them on the way home.  It was blissful.  Happy celebration to me! 

How did you celebrate yourself and YOUR dreams?  (or, if you didn't know you were supposed to, how do you PLAN to celebrate?)

Happy Sunday!

Creative Adventure Sunday!

Happy Sunday!
This week's Creating Dreams Come True assignment was to try something new.  I couldn't take a different route to work, as my work is my life (no, really, that's what a stay at home mom is...at work all the time...luckily it doesn't FEEL like work).  But I did find some fun ways to change things up a bit:

-I did a dance "workout" every single day (usually I exercise very VERY sporadically)
-I wrote a little bit of my novel every day instead of leaving it all until Sunday afternoon (SO MUCH BETTER THIS WAY!!)
-I tried a raw dessert recipe using dates (it was truffles made of ground nuts, dates, and cocoa, and it was AMAZING!)
-I crocheted instead of knitted (and I'm getting MUCH better at it!  And best of all, it's SO much more babyproof than knitting!)
-I took a book into the bedroom at naptime...so that when Little Bear woke up after the first hour (which he ALWAYS does) I could lie there and read while he nursed back down.  Best idea EVER.
-instead of squeezing in a shower once or twice a week I washed my hair in the sink every other day and took sponge baths...result: I was cleaner and felt more human.  I'd tried this before, but this time I did it regularly. 
-I shopped at a new store: The Local Source Market.  I've been trying to get us more local and organic foods, and this was a wonderful place to shop.  The free-range bacon they sell is AMAZING.

Now that I've started doing these things, I really think I'll keep on doing them.  The changes I made weren't radical, and they were ones I probably would have eventually made...but this assignment inspired me to get going on them.  It just goes to show that outside of our everyday routines there are habits that are more supportive of the dreams we have and the life we want to live...if only we take the time to step outside our boxes and TRY them.

Oh, and P.S.: Last week's success tracker?  I did it every day this week, and it has made a HUGE difference.

Creating and Recording Success!

Welcome to Creative Adventure Sunday! This week's assignment was to build on our maps/lists from last week and to create a method to track our successes. Since my gentle daily to-do list from last week's post was already taking some effect, I decided to build on that. The idea of daily "success tracker" blog posts didn't really appeal, or at least I didn't feel like putting them on here or like making an entirely new blog. I know myself, and that just wouldn't work for me. I already have my "This is My Day" list on my fridge and I've been making daily gratitude posts on Facebook since New Years Day...I wanted to do something to help myself keep track of these things. I also wanted to keep track of other things...like Little Bear's daily life. The months are passing so quickly, and he's growing so much. Soon he won't be a baby any more...he's such a toddler now. So all of these ideas swirled around in my head until I was at the grocery store and I saw the spiral bound notebooks. And BOOM! Inspiration!

And here's the result of an hour of cutting and a mad half-hour of gluing...the front cover:


The inside front cover:


And a sample page:

(you can click on the photo for a larger version if you want to read it...if you can read my handwriting, that is)

I like that it's a cross between a checklist and a fill in the blank. It reminds me of my daily list, it records my gratitude practice, and it helps me take note of what Little Bear does. And, best of all, unlike other journals I've tried (like food journals...oh, how I hate food journals), I feel like writing my entry is part and parcel with the practice. It ties it all together and reminds me to do my practice just as much as my practice reminds me to do the journal...if that makes sense. Anyway, I know I haven't been doing it for long, but I'm really happy with it. Plus, even when it's closed, the cover is inspirational for me. Love it love it love it!

Wishing you all the best success and fun pursuing joy in your days! Happy Sunday!

This is My Year

Last week's Creative Sunday assignment was to create a list of intentions and goals for the next year...a map to get us where we want to go. It was an interesting exercise for me...it demonstrated the power of wording. If I worded things as a "to-do" list or tried to quantify things exactly I found myself getting completely stressed out. Putting a number on things ("Drink 2.5 litres of water a day") made me feel like if I didn't reach that number exactly I would be failing...and that's not good. Drinking 2L of water is better than not drinking ANY, after all! So, after a false start or two, here is my This Is My Year list:

This is my Health: I feel vibrant, radiant, and fully IN my body.
-I do Energy Medicine daily
-I dance my chores
-I drink plenty of water
-I participate in a fitness community
-I eat vibrantly healthy foods: (I incorporate more raw foods into my diet, I buy local and organic whenever I can, I avoid "angry foods" and eat free-range meat and eggs)
-I eat mindfully

These are my Relationships: My relationships are open-hearted, unconditional, and well-maintained.
-I spend solo time with Papa Bear every day (even if this means staying up later)
-I connect with friends regularly (monthly would be GREAT)
-I communicate honestly and respect points of view. I also respect my OWN point of view.
-I parent with respect and unconditional love

This is my Abundance: I am debt-free and bringing in income in a way that makes my heart sing.
-I put extra money on credit cards
-I use up ALL groceries (no throwing away rotten leftovers)
-I share my creative endeavours
-I SUBMIT WORK TO PUBLISHERS!!!!

This is my Creativity: I joyfully create every day.
-I participate in Creative Adventure Sundays and Mission Mondays and blog about it.
-I write Something on my novel every day (one sentence is fine)
-I finish my novel draft this summer
-I finish Isadora this year
-I write a children's story for Little Bear
-I create 50 crafty-things this year.

This is my Purpose: I live my life with mindfulness and an open heart. My job is happiness.
-I practice gratitude daily
-I joyfully share my insights, creations, and struggles
-I keep energy in mind
-I seek out teachers and mentors
-I am kind to myself, but also honestly admit mistakes.
-I practice forgiveness (of MYSELF as well as others)

This is how I practice Self-Love/Self-Care:
-I focus on what Is and not what "should be"
-I take the path of gentleness
-I use the good bath stuff
-I take a complete break once a week
-I give myself Reiki regularly
-I meditate at bedtime each night
-I move every day in ways that make me smile


This is how I experience Happiness/Adventure: I experience JOY every day and with my Whole Heart.
-I cultivate optimism
-I trust the universe
-I appreciate the "small things"


When I reviewed my lists I realized that there were certain things I wanted to do daily, habits I wanted to commit to. So I created a final category: This Is My Day:

This is My Day:
-I do Energy Medicine
-I make a Gratitude Post
-I move my body
-I write Something
-I make Something
-I divinely declutter
-I listen to music
-I connect with Papa Bear and Little Bear
-I focus on the breath

Dreams Come True...

Creative Adventure Sundays Round 2: Make a list of dreams that have ALREADY come true.

I love love LOVE this idea! It's so easy to forget about all of our accomplishments -all of the challenges we've faced, the miracles we've experienced. Once the initial "YAY!" wears off, we forget to look back and think about the wonderfulness of our lives so far. I challenged myself to write down 100 dreams come true...goals achieved, miracles experienced. I thought it would be hard...it really really wasn't. :-)

Here they are, in the order they came out of my brain:

1. Met my true love
2. Got proposed to (not by my true love, as it happened, because I met Papa Bear through my ex...hehe)
3. Had the courage to realize that my ex and I weren't right together and broke things off with him (this was a miserable experience, but I maintain that it counts because it was Step One to a whole new life)
4. Felt myself actually Fall in love.
5. Was the Girl Someone Had a Long Term Crush On Just Like In the Movies
6. Felt more Myself with a guy (as opposed to less myself)
7. Did the proposing myself (I LOVE that I got to have it both ways!)
8. Planned a totally amazing and unique wedding that people still talk about
9. Graduated from university with honours
10. Wrote a 28-page essay in French (and got an A)
11. Won the University Medal in French (a total and complete surprise)
12. Presented a paper at a university conference
13. Toured the UK and Southern Ireland (with Contiki tours...an amazing experience and an excellent post-break-up transition)
14. Went to an arts high school as a dance major
15. Attended a summer course in NYC with the Limon Dance Company (a dream come true)
16. Performed my own choreography for an audience (several times)
17. Danced my choreography on the same stage as Evelyn Hart and Rex Harrington (I mean we were in the same show, not that they were in my pieces...but they did watch from the wings)
18. Got a compliment from each of them
19. Graduated from university with a GPA over 4.0 (because at my school they gave 4.3 for an A+)
20. Tried a flamenco class
21. Went to university in New York City (and left when I realized it was NOT for me)
22. Dance en pointe
23. Found a dance style I took to naturally (modern dance)
24. Choreographed dances that were honest emotional portrayals (and, in some cases, therapy)
25. Taught modern dance MY way (and helped myself heal old wounds)
26. Took a train across Canada on my own
27. Awakened to energy work
28. Became a Reiki master
29. Sang in front of an audience
30. Got regular shout-outs from one of my favourite bands when I went to their shows
31. Hosted a campus radio show (well, two, actually: "Moose on the Highway" at Skidmore and "Border Crossing" at Dalhousie)
32. Got a job based on my own merits as opposed to family connections (and thus avoided all of the baggage that can come with working for people who knew me as a kid)
33. KICKED ASS at said job(s) (I am a PHENOMENAL administrative assistant)
34. "Broke up with" all of my toxic mother-figures from my childhood (I had a collection)
35. Moved into a house by a lake
36. Had the courage to realize that buying wasn't right for us right now (and thus opened the way for the perfect rental)
37. Got pregnant when it felt natural and right
38. Had a healthy pregnancy
39. Gave birth to a healthy baby
40. Survived what I think was mild post partum depression
41. Successfully nursed my baby (and still do)
42. Parented against the mainstream mostly-confidently
43. Started a blog
44. Interviewed a band
45. Wrote newspaper articles for a university paper
46. Wrote 150 pages of my first novel
47. Wrote a children's story
48. Won a writing prize for a story I co-wrote with my mom
49. Discovered the link between dance, energy and healing
50. Attended a Reiki Healing Dance workshop with deeply healing and transformative results
51. Discovered Kripalu DansKinetics and attended a teacher training workshop without having ever taken a KDK class (a gamble that totally paid off)
52. Did extremely well on the final test-class of the workshop
53. Rented out space, advertised, and ran 2 terms of classes in the Halifax area
54. Was featured in a local newspaper
55. Met with a studio head to pitch the idea of DansKinetics to her (and happily released that idea when I saw that we were not compatible)
56. Happily released the business when the right time came
57. Journalled during my major epiphanies and life changes
58. Loved with my whole heart, even when I got hurt
59. Learned to knit and made a sweater
60. Re-learned to knit eight years later and made a teddy bear for my son
61. Almost got my driver's license (passed the Young Drivers of Canada course but never took the road test for the actual license)
62. Found a family doctor that I ADORE
63. Found a dentist I really like
64. Embraced shopping at the plus-sized stores, and thus have clothes I LOVE
65. Presented my dance classes at a school and a community centre
66. Did one successful Reiki Healing Dance treatment
67. Conquered crippling shyness
68. Learned more about who I am and how to be *more* myself and not hide
69. Stuck successfully to a 3-week detox
70. Lost weight by LOVING my body (twice)
71. Helped a lot of people open up and shine through dance
72. Made a website
73. Made new friends and developed older friendships
74. Bought a Mac (her name is Cynthia)
75. Bought an iPod (how did I ever live without it?!)
76. Sewed my first sock monkey
77. Sewed my first totally unique doll
78. Learned to crochet
79. Got into Harvard
80. Turned Harvard down when I realized it was not a good fit for me
81. Let Little Bear spend time without me when I realized how much I needed alone time (it amazes me how much I ADORE him when he comes back from an outing with Papa Bear :-P)
82. Took Little Bear outside most days this fall (and let him get as dirty as he wanted)
83. Began to let go of perfectionism in dance and other creative endeavours
84. Worked with a personal trainer
85. Began to get a sense of what I value and how I want to live
86. Took steps to develop that vision
87. Stayed completely away from parenting magazines
88. Only read parenting books that support my vision
89. Hung some of my own artwork in our home
90. Married someone who appreciates my dance
91. Married someone who loves and supports my "self-helpy" streak
92. Bought the wedding dress of my dreams...twice!
93. Learned to keep an eye open for teachers and mentors that the universe throws across my path
94. Surprised my parents with baby news on Christmas Day 2007 (kept it a secret for over a month)
95. Made my dad cry by putting all of his old photos into an album
96. Began to FINALLY hear some of my dad's stories (he has had an AMAZING life!)
97. Wrote down my ideas and inspiration so I can revisit it whenever I'm called to
98. Made someone so happy it hurts
99. Met a wedding/portrait photographer we ADORE (both in terms of her work and her personality)
100. Adopted two adorable kitties from a shelter and gave them a good home with lots of cuddles
101. COMPLETED A LIST OF ONE HUNDRED DREAMS COME TRUE!!

I highly recommend this exercise :-)